Spring Has Sprung!

For most of us, our concept of seasonal timing is way off. Unless you are a gardener, work with plants, farmer or otherwise spending your days outside, it probably feels quite early for Spring.

February 1st, 2018 marked the midway point between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox. While both the Solstice and Equinox are thought to be the beginnings of their respective seasons, they are the height of their respective seasons. Really we look to the Lunar New Year as the Spring festival which was February 16th this year. 

The energy of the Spring is a huge shift from winter and no matter where you live the light is changing and so is nature. It is one of the most important seasons in terms of tuning in to pay attention to the needs and requests of your body, mind and spirit. 

In Chinese Medicine the Spring connects with the Wood element which connects to the Liver & Gall Bladder. The wood element is a lot about rigidity vs. flexibility, expansion and inspiration. Since the Liver is our biggest filter it helps to process all the good and bad we take in. Physically it helps us process toxins, supplements, alcohol, and all of the emotions. 

BODY - Your body craves flexibility in the spring. It can be hard if you are out of balance to get into stretching, but start a yoga practice today. Hip openers, can be wonderful to open up the Liver channel which runs from your big toe up into your groin and your rib cage. Working on stretching the outward side body is additionally helpful as the Gall Bladder has much to do with symptoms of tight IT bands, temple headaches, shortening of the torso and much neck & shoulder tension. Adding in some lemon water to your morning routine, herbs for the Liver and sour can help ease stress and add flexibility into your tendons. The Liver also does very will with spring bitter greens such as dandelion. 

MIND - When you are health the spring feels joyous and like a great time to get creative, you will dive in and start a garden or an art project. It's a great time to sign up for a course or start training for an athletic event. However, if you are depleted or overwhelmed the Spring can be a very difficult time for your. Mental stress is the most common way that people are out of balance. In Chinese medicine this mental stress is most often seen as Liver Qi Stagnation. Usually this leads to feelings of irritability and anger, and a short frustrated fuse. Using this time to expand your mindset can be deeply rewarding if you start a mindfulness practice and meditate, even 5 minutes a day.

SPIRIT - As mentioned above your mind will be delighted if you act on any inspiration that you have. A healthy Liver is not only full of ideas, but also uses energy to express them and communicate them outwardly to the world. 

They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds. - Mexican proverb

If you took downtime and looked inward during the winter, the spring is a great time to make a leap forward on anything that came to mind. Often things that have been simmering in your subconscious come to light during the spring and can become even more fully expressed during the summer. It is a time that you might have vivid dreams, pay attention to them as that is often where you are processing the goings of each day as well as gaining insight to who you are and what work you are ready to do in the world. 

For a more in-depth look at your specific body and what you might need this season - join Emerge, a Spring Women's Circle. It's all virtual and it's beginning March 28th!

Grief in the Season of Joy Part V. Fin.

The thing about grief is that it gets better. It gets easier, it lessens, it lets off the gas. And at the very same time it doesn’t.

Remember the resume bullet point? (If not, go back to Part II) I had qualifications on being a professional handler of grief. I was until my dad died. Since then I have been knocked over, ribs shaking, snot-dripping crying like when I was a little girl. I have not had tears that have overcome me since I was a child, maybe a teen.

This newly experienced depth of emotion as an adult has shocked me. It has made me feel out of control, and like a small and vulnerable little girl. It has also reminded me that no matter how you prepare yourself, brace yourself for the worst thing to happen, it does not protect you from the pain. Nothing can.

The thing is, I am still a vulnerable little girl. She is there to remind me that life is hard, it hurts and sometimes I really want my dad.

Back to things getting better. It does get better, or something. Days keep passing. The sun keeps rising. And life goes on. I have learned that something that seemed impossible one evening has full potential the next morning. 

After enough nights of sleep and sunrises that marked the passing of time, all of a sudden it was spring. Finally, after six months I was ready to go visit the place where he died.

I had craved being in the place that he died since the day after his death. The woman who called 911, who found him face down, who heard his last words, “I’m just walking.” She gave us a great gift. She found our family and told us her story.

I wanted to walk his last steps, to see where he took his last breaths. And it was more beautiful and perfect than I could have imagined. Seeing this beauty of the place he finished his steps on earth has gifted me more peace, trust and acceptance. In his last steps he walked up a small hill towards an oak tree. In the Spring, I followed the path he took in his last footsteps. The feeling of being beneath the oak tree was a sigh of relief. The oak tree had been there for his death and for perhaps hundreds of years prior. Suddenly his death felt like it was part of something far beyond his time in a human body. It was part of a greater ebb and flow of life. 

I have a general trust in the order of the world. There is something about life lessons teaching us what we need to know, when we need to know them. I have realized that even when we are good and we learn the life lesson, it doesn't prevent the pain, the grief, the sorrow that comes with loss. There is nothing that takes away the humanness of the experience. That is probably my greatest lesson to share.

For now, I hope to enjoy the rest of Summer, the season of joy. To let my heart crack open with it’s aches, pains and tenderness. To let it all wash over me as an intensive lesson on duality, death, life, love and moving on.

Emerging into Spring

Last spring I had a huge emergence out of the vulnerability closet. I got engaged. Then I wrote about the complexities of engagement for me and the post got shared far and wide. It was scary to be exposed in that way.

The end of the summer I had a hard time maintaining the moment of Spring and as I began to get myself back into the grooves with back to school vibes of fall, my dad died.

Fall and winter were dark for me. (They are for everyone even without a recent loss.) The natural patterns of these seasons are looking inward and into places we have not looked at all year.

During Fall, the season was swallowed in the grief and logistics of a loved ones death. The Winter was welcomed as a time to hibernate, rest, take deep self-care and recover. To top it off I was dealing with the intense grief of losing my father paired with the ever present adrenal fatigue. 

But life goes on, and the darkness descends back into itself and life emerges again into Spring.

emerge definition: /əˈmərj/ verb 

1. to become manifest : become known
2. become apparent or prominent.
3. recover from or survive a difficult situation.

For me, the third definition resonates so deeply: 3. recover from or survive a difficult situation.

Now that Spring is here, I am ready to grow and move forward. I have to admit, it is fucking scary to recover and survive the death of my father. I can tell that this Spring I am experiencing immense growth. Simultaneously I am honoring that the whole world is new and raw without the presence of my dad's protection.

I look forward to this season of growth. I am curious to explore the recovery period of this season. And always, always looking forward to what emerges this year.